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By Rob Pegoraro

Thursday, February 6 1997; Page B05
The Washington Post


Real Men (tm) don't debug their computers, they destroy them! Or so the Illustrated Guide to Breaking Your Computer might suggest. It's a meticulously detailed set of step-by-step instructions on computer-servicing methods to apply when cursing at the machine or slapping the side of the monitor just won't do. Some only require basic household tools, such as "Activity 1: Keyboard & power drill," a simple use of an electric drill to torture your keyboard, one key at a time ("For the maximum effect, move the drill around smoothly but rapidly"). Others are more complicated and downright dangerous -- "Activity 3: Monitor + Hammer = Good Clean Fun!" -- or approach mad-scientist levels of preparation, such as "Activity 5: Simulation of various climates on printed circuits" -- i.e., applying a small blowtorch to the sucker. It's funny, but also a little frightening once you realize how angry you've gotten after being General Protection Faulted. Consider, then, the author's final word of wisdom on the page, his one-word instructions on what to do if caught while "tuning up" other people's computers: "Panic."

© Copyright 1997 The Washington Post Company

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